Canada Day or Domion Day

July 2nd, 2011                                                      Canada Day or Dominion Day?

I couldn’t help it by God, I tried to be cynical but I was joyously overcome looking at those two youngsters taking on the mantle of monarchs. One international visit after the next is tough going and you’ve got to admit even the most resolute among them lets the grin slip a bit after 12 hours. Even on my wedding day I faded, there’s pictures to prove it. Imagine the stamina, to stand there with Prime Ministers, Governors General and spice (spouse pluralized) and dignitaries throughout the commonwealth and seem interested in every next face and fact! It’s a mugs game, property of the young and fit.
So yesterday Kate and Will paraded with the finest around Ottawa’s Parliament Hill and the fans shouted and cheered, the CF-18’s flew past, the Snowbirds did an aeronautical show, pomp, pageantry, parades and performances, the lot, mostly because it’s Canada’s 144th birthday and conveniently the Royals planned to stop by.
Down here in Bloody Bay we were at it too. It started the night before when at precisely 11:09 (I know, I was in bed at the time) some one in the woods on back of the Dump Road got the jump on the midnight starting line and fired off the first shot! 3 inch magnum I’d say if the retort was anything to go by. Quickly the celebration caught on and the Ned Parsons boat got burned. Most of the flags in town were torched, regardless the loyalty. Most of them were LOL but who cares, really – Who? That’s the first step in the investigative process, Inspector Poirot’s influence!
Yesterday the town was flat (figuratively), not too much going on. The intensity of the evening previous in all it’s pagan carelessness was a source of intense shame in this ordinarily well tempered and proud town. The question however of what was being celebrated lingers and I decided to identify it by a rather unscientific method so I leave no credit to the result other than the fact it’s interesting. I counted beer cans and bottles left in ditches and roadsides.
The result: Dominion – 24, (complete, though broken in one carton contained in a Billy Boot garbage bag along with lobster shells). In the other camp – Canadian – 36 bottles, 67 cans (some squat)
It’s not a great conclusion however as this really can’t be taken as loyalty to either Canada Day or Dominion day because the both were out numbered (in decreasing order) by Corona – a Mexican brew, Coors light, (God help us, we’re lost) and of all things Budweiser which shows more than anything our lecherous love for the Budweiser Girls.
So, Federalists or Separatists? I’d suggest neither, rather we’re opportunists and wherever there’s a boat to be burned, a gun to shoot or beer to be consumed we’ll have a tear!
Onto the next party, which if my liturgical calendar is right is The Assumption of Mary, which comes on August 15th. That’s a long time to wait for to get drunk! I wonder if we should invite the Pope.

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